His Mysterious Ways

His Mysterious Ways

God uses many diverse ways to speak to us to draw us unto Him.  Several years at an all day ladies retreat at my church He allowed me to see myself in a truer light than I had previously been able to admit.

It was a beautiful fall day.  We had listened to a speaker and had fellowshipped around a good lunch.  Then we were given instructions for the rest of the day.  It was to be an afternoon of silence and reflection.  We were to go somewhere on the church grounds and spend the time alone, without any distractions, and write our assignment.  Whenever we felt that had been accomplished we were free to go home.

Our assignment: Write in your own words a description of your relationship with God.

I settled down on a towel I spread out on the grass with my back against a tree.  It was warm; other women were dotted around the grounds, but it was silent, except for the birds.

Where to begin?  I doubted the very existence of God...No, I hoped He was there, but who could be sure?  I had a very hard time believing a lot of the Bible.  I had been taught evolution and that made creation and the miracles hard to swallow.  God?   God?  What is my relationship with You?

Years before, in a high school Sunday school class, I had been convicted by the teaching that God wanted nothing less from us than total commitment.  Was that what I was fighting?  Was that why I argued that the Bible could not be true?

Then as I sat there sorting out my thoughts, a picture began to form in my mind.  God was holding out a large gold cross to me.  But my hands were full.  I was carrying a giant silver “I.”  It kept getting tarnished and I was continually rubbing and polishing it to make it look good.  The gold cross was beautiful and didn’t tarnish, didn’t have to be cleaned up.  I wanted it.  I really did.  But in order to take it I would have to put down my big silver “I.”  I couldn’t.  I was not willing to do that.

I didn’t sit there much longer.  I had done the assignment.  I gathered my things and headed for the car.  At home I stuck it all in a drawer and tried to forget it.

About a year and a half later, I came across what I had written.  What a relief!  In the time since writing that, God had slowly led me step by step to be able to know Him and trust Him so I could put down that heavy tarnished silver “I” and pick up His golden cross....and you know His burden is light!

That is another story in itself.